Tantra is the textbook for what sex was made for. Centuries old, Tantric practices are part of a much larger Hindu/ Vedic tradition of which sexuality is only part. The full-practice is a life-long spiritual quest, which demonstrates the interconnectedness of everything including yoga, meditation, breath work and sexual techniques. The Western and more modern interpretation of Tantra has become synonymous with spiritual and sacred sexuality. These Tantric books and practices explore and teach techniques that are capable of elevating sexual participants to a sublime and ecstatic spiritual plane.

Many teachers caution against the confusion associated with "Tantric bliss" as a path to intense orgasmic pleasure. In fact, the power of the practice is often the sublimation of orgasmic pleasure towards a rising spiritual energy of divine connection. Saying that, the principles behind Tantric practice can go a long way in deepening the connection you share with your spouse.

Basic Techniques
There are a few simple techniques that I often recommend to customers and clients without even situating them in the context of Tantra, which, in fact, is where they came from. The idea of making love with your eyes open is one of the fundamentals of deep connection in intimacy. For you eye-closers, it's surprisingly harder to do than you might expect. Move toward this idea as an intention rather than a rule and be amazed as the collection of glimpses that will reshape how you think about your spouse and yourself. It is not easy to be seen, even by the people we love. Truly witnessing the act of love is profoundly transformative.

Becoming conscious about your breath is central to all yogic practices and is foundational in Tantra. An easy way to start this is to intentionally count your breaths together. Associating breath and penetration, both shallow and deep, forces you both to find a rhythm and timing that is shared. Slowing down to each other and taking a breath with each connection is incredibly exciting.

Combine these two ideas into one of my favorite intimate activities and see if you can get to the finish line together. The ground rules are first to keep looking into each other’s eyes, and second, to distinguish between deep and shallow penetration. Starting with shallow and moving towards deep penetration in a count that you both follow requires concentration and focus, which alone changes the nature of intimacy.

Getting Started
The first round is nine shallow and one deep stroke, each one connected through breath and eye contact. The second round is eight shallow, two deep. The pattern continues and then repeats, if you can.

Showering our physical love with intent and attention is the key to transforming love into a force of unity. My first line of products was called "Sacred Moments" because even without any study of Tantra, I knew that the closer we can get to the divine is in the act of making love to someone you really love. Have fun.

Wendy Strgar is the founder of GoodCleanLove.com, which provides products and advice for sustainable love. If you have questions about products or toys send them in and Wendy will be happy to share her knowledge. When visiting the website, use coupon code NEWSITE08, to enjoy a new year 15 percent discount.