When is the last time you had really good sex? Not just "maintenance" sex (which is important for every relationship!), but memorable, toe-curling sex.

If you are like most people, you would probably say, "It’s been a while." We rarely prioritize our sexual pleasure and make time for our marriages, so it is no wonder when our intimacy becomes dull or uninspired.

To make matters worse, most of us suffer from a lack of education about our bodies and our sexual responses. Our culture is rife with myths about sex, and these distorted ideas about love-making can impact our pleasure and our connection with our spouse. I want to help couples reclaim their sexual birthright—the right that we all have to enjoy sex, love, and intimacy as whole, vulnerable, and conscious people.

But, before you can begin to embrace new ideas about sex and love, you first have to debunk these common sex myths! These include:

1. Men think about sex every 7 seconds. No way! Sure, some men think about sex a lot (as do some women), but it is time we stop spreading the message that men are always in the mood and raring to go. Newer studies have debunked this myth some time ago and it's time for it to die. Men have "off" days just like anyone else when they are not in the mood for sex.

2. Sex gets boring as you age. Nope. In fact, research shows that most people report their sex lives actually improve as they get older. Women in particular report increased confidence and sexual pleasure. This is probably because they are more comfortable in their bodies, less inhibited, and unafraid to ask for what they want. So menopause is far from the end of your sexual pleasure, it could be just the beginning.

3. Size matters. Not really. No matter the size of your penis, sexual satisfaction comes down to how giving, present, and passionate of a lover you are. Few women reach orgasm from simple intercourse anyway, so things like foreplay, oral sex, manual stimulation, sex toys, etc. can all make you an awesome lover—regardless of your size.

4. Great sex just happens. This is such a pervasive myth that can really do great damage. People think that if they have to "work" at their sex life it means their passion is dead or that any sexual pleasure they achieve is not authentic. That’s just untrue. Like all things worthwhile in this world, it takes effort to keep a sex life hot and passionate over the years—and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just the opposite; you should be proud of being such an invested and committed partner. It's a demonstration of your priorities to your spouse and marriage.

Remember, great sex takes effort—but that doesn’t mean it will be boring, dull work. Instead, it can be passionate, soul-opening, and transformative; time and practice help you become not only a better lover, but a better spouse and a better person.

For more of Dr. Berman’s unconventional relationship advice or information on her Mind-Blowing Love webinar, please visit her blog at: drlauraberman.com.