According to new findings from the American Sociological Association, a long-term marriage curbs men’s drinking, but women actually imbibe more alcohol. Could this mean that marriage is more beneficial to men?

What the Research Says

Research from the University of Pennsylvania show that there has been a shift in happiness since the 1970s, when women claimed to be happier than men. One of the studies explains that since the 1960s, men have cut back on unpleasant activities and relax more. On the other hand, women are taking on more tasks than they did four decades ago. They have replaced housework with working outside the home, yet are still responsible for the house work. This means that a woman’s "to do" list has increased with less time to do everything. As a result, many women feel stressed, under-accomplished and fatigued! How can anyone be happy with all that on her plate?

According to Dr. D. A. Bangasser’s research as published in Molecular Psychiatry female rats are affected by lower levels of stress than their male rat counterparts and do not adapt to higher stress levels like male rats, a process called internalization. The study concludes that higher stress disorders in women could have a similar biological response. In short, women process stress more intensely than men and get caught in a negative loop.

The obvious question, even though it is rhetorical: Why can’t women relax more? Essentially, women believe that they have the power to fix things for others, like a sacred mission. And when they don’t succeed, they might turn to alcohol to relax. Some mothers get together and sip a glass or two or more of wine while their young children play, "We need to unwind with a grown up version of play time."

It’s time to put back the fun in dysfunctional. "If everything seems under control," said auto racer Mario Andretti, "you're probably not moving fast enough."

5 Healthy ways to disconnect from stress and reap the benefits of your marital relationship:

* If you are dreaming about turning your spouse into an ideal soul mate, realize that any good intimate relationship generates a soul mate and, over time, it will get better.

* Did you know that according to the American Medical Association, just holding your spouse’s hand is calming and speeds up wound healing? You don’t even need to talk.

* Stop serving as the household generator. Everyone does not need to be plugged into you.

* Observe doctors, pilots and other high risk professionals and follow their lead. They know that fatigue can lead to dangerous errors, so they work together like a team to help each other out. Consequently, they have improved coping skills and optimistic resiliency than those who face their fatigue alone. Ask for help and delegate!

* Find a hobby that you are passionate about where you lose track of time and space. Passionate creativity in one area transfers to another. Breathe new life into your relationship instead of numbing it.

Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of "Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life," "Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout" and "Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul," a stress-reduction specialist, a radio show host and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com.