My husband and I had not been intimate for a few weeks. When we finally decided to have sex, his penis hurt from me being on top. Could the pain be from not having sex for some time or could it be caused by something else? Any help is appreciated.

There are a variety of different reasons why a man would be experiencing pain during intimacy and, as a general rule, anytime any sort of pain is experienced whether man or woman, we recommend that you see a health care provider right away. The last thing anyone needs is to allow a possible injury to worsen because you didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Plus, you’ll sleep better at night knowing whether or not it’s a serious issue that you’re dealing with.

With that said, there may be some basic reasons that a man may feel some discomfort while having intercourse. Not having sex for sometime should not necessarily cause a man to experience pain, though you should ask him to think back and see if he remembers experiencing any kind of injury during the time that you weren’t being intimate.

If his pain is from actually inserting his penis, you may want to try using a lubricant, which will make your intimacy more comfortable and pleasurable for the both of you. A lack of lubrication can pull the skin of the penis in uncomfortable ways during sexual activity. If you’ve never used a lubricant before, I recommend trying a water-based one that is pH balanced; these typically don’t contain any irritants and are designed to feel like a woman’s natural moisture.

If it’s a pain that he is only feeling while you’re on top, you might also want to try a new position in which he is on top or behind. This will allow him to have more control of the depth and angle of his penis—either of those might have been causing him discomfort previously.

Again, the doctor is your best friend in this particular situation. I know we’ve all had times in which we have known someone (or been that someone) who hasn’t wanted to go to the doctor for one reason or another, but be sure to emphasize with your spouse that this is for the sake of his own health.

Be sure he is equipped with a full description of his level and the location of his pain and remind him of how thankful you’ll both be when you can get back to being intimate without any discomfort!

Patty Brisben, is the CEO and Founder of Pure Romance (www.pureromance.com). For more than two decades, Patty has been educating and empowering women all over the country about sexual health and relationship enhancement. Today, Patty speaks, lectures and writes about a wide range of issues. Drawing from extensive research in the industry and using her warm and engaging personality, Patty has become a noted expert in the fields of intimacy and relationships. Patty has been quoted in several magazines including Self, Women's Health, Glamour, Redbook, Men's Health, Details, US Weekly, In Touch and Life & Style.